Thoughts of a Sprite

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

When it Rains... It Pours...

Okay, jeeze! I said I was going to start dating again, but I didn't take out an ad on the evening news... Very few people have this link... Do I have a sign on my back that says hey I'm easy hit on me? I mean come on... I said date not F***... there must be something in the air.

I am being hit on by a married ICU nurse, with two children. He is trying to buy his way into my bed, offering to pay for memberships to the gym, and victoria secret sets... Just wait till my Mema is out of that hospital... I am going to tell him where he can shove it!

On a more positive note, I was listening to the radio the other night and on comes this song that really touched me. It was in a battle (I guess against another new song) so I called the radio station to vote. (which I NEVER do) The song is called, Broken by Seether and Amy Grant... and this DJ answers the phone... We got to talking and didn't get off the phone until 0130 in the morning. This is like 3.5 hours of conversation with a guy I have never met. He went on vacation for a week, but called me the next day to say good bye, and asked me to dinner... So I have set myself up for a blind date of sorts... I checked the web site for the station and he seems like a nice guy... WOW... Guess I still got game...

It has been almost eight months since I last went on a date, and I find it hard not to immediately shut him, any him for that matter, out... Why is it that I can be Friends with males, but when it comes to letting them in... Letting them get to know me, that I find it impossible to chip the ice away from my heart.

I would love nothing more in this world than to smile, and mean it... I don't mean the hollow smile that I show the world, I mean the one that comes from the inside... The one I can feel start in my toes, and work all the way up through my heart, to my face...

(maybe some relief of the sexual frustration would help hehehe, see there I go again making light of how I feel... It is all about image and no one wants to see the darker side of things... So you leave your baggage in the closet and act as though everything is okay... There is the reason the ice won't melt... I don't, can't, won't trust... With out trust no relationship will work.)

Please excuse the ramblings... I am trying to deal with many emotions as well as frustrations and this just seemed to flow from my finger tips...

shes_a_sprite @ 2:25 PM.

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